Harry Hill: ‘I always thought I’d make a good serial killer’

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As a doctor, really often does a family personnel aliases friend ask: “I’ve sewage this small point bothering maine and wonderment if you’d mind taking a look?” Sigma66
They utilized to, but nan further distant I’ve sewage from it, nan little they spot me. I still had my medicine pad until astir 10 years ago. It utilized to beryllium that you could salary to beryllium connected nan register, which I did, but it wasn’t very much. I utilized to conscionable prescribe antibiotics for sore throats and stuff. Then they changed nan rules, nan spoilsports. One comedian – who I won’t name, but he’s amended known than you mightiness deliberation – erstwhile tried to show maine his genital warts astatine a urinal successful nan Edinburgh festival. I had nary expertise successful that area, truthful I refused to analyse nan appendage successful question.

Did you ever brushwood anyone who took umbrage to your curen of them connected TV Burp? Hectormandarin
I recovered myself successful nan institution of Alan Sugar astatine nan Baftas. He’s not celebrated for his consciousness of humour. He said: “My girl tells maine you do an belief of me.” I said: “Actually, it’s my ventriloquist dummy that does nan impression, ‘You’re fired, you’re fired, and – pinch regret – you are fired,” aliases immoderate it was I utilized to opportunity connected TV Burp. He conscionable said: “Nah.” That was his assessment.

Harry Hill connected TV Burp.
Harry Hill connected TV Burp. Photograph: ITV/Avalon

Another clip I was astatine nan Royal Albert Hall for nan National TV Awards. I had to locomotion up nan reddish carpet pinch Dot Cotton because I didn’t person immoderate different personage friends. She had to extremity halfway to person a fag. Then I saw Phil Mitchell coming towards me. I thought: “Christ, he’s a reliable nut, he’s going to listen me.” He came up and said, “Yeah, very funny,” earlier making his measurement to nan existent personification he wanted to spot – Barbara Windsor who played his on-screen mum, Peggy Mitchell – opinionated down me.

Did you ever person yourself successful mind to play nan lead successful The Harry Hill movie? Had you been unavailable, who other mightiness you person cast? TopTramp
I’d overmuch alternatively person not been successful it. All my master life, I’ve tried to make things I didn’t person to beryllium in. But personification ever says: “We won’t beryllium capable to get immoderate money if you’re not successful it.”

Maybe I should do Harry Hill, nan musical. I would emotion that. It opens pinch an aged comedian successful his dressing room astatine nan St Albans arena, 2060. You perceive a voice: “Five minutes, Mr Hill.” The remainder is told successful flashback. You’d person to person a Billy Elliot-like characteristic who’s being forced into being a doctor, but really wants to beryllium a comedian. All that aspirational stuff, group against a backdrop of nan 70s, nan wintertime of discontent. Actually, I’m opening to for illustration this idea.

What did you study astir about yourself penning and filming your short film, The Last Caveman? richpelley
I had this thought for a unrecorded show that had nary connection truthful it could play each astir nan world – a beingness funny comedy. I thought: “Well, cavemen don’t person language.” The thought was I wouldn’t beryllium successful it – present we spell again – but they said: “Oh, no, you’d person to be, otherwise, you won’t waste immoderate tickets.” I thought: “Right, I’ll person a spell myself.” I did a 40-minute type wherever I emerged from down this cardboard stone I’d made retired of a monolithic TV box, pinch clone teeth and this Max Wall hairdo. The assemblage looked astatine maine arsenic if to say: “When is this going to stop?”

After astir 30 minutes, location were a fewer laughs, truthful I went distant and rewrote it, and did an hour-long type that went truthful fabulously good I thought nan assemblage were deliberately winding maine up to springiness maine mendacious hope. The adjacent gig was going to beryllium Monday but my girl was sent location from schoolhouse pinch a “persistent barren cough”. Does that ringing a bell? It was lockdown. I thought I’d spell and movie it instead, which was connected taxable arsenic it’s astir isolation and loneliness. I’ve taken it astir nan state and seen it God knows really galore times. I do really emotion it, though it’s difficult to gauge what different group think.

As an iconic, bald celebrity, what proposal would you springiness to a thirtysomething man pinch thinning hair? Style it retired aliases shave it off? NoMoreMrBungle
Shave it off. You won’t cognize what’s nether location otherwise. I’m lucky. I’ve sewage rather a nice, rounded bald head. Prior to that, I would walk each waking infinitesimal looking successful nan reflector styling it into various weaves and combovers. Certainly successful nan 70s and 80s, you ne'er saw younger, bald men. They ever had a combover aliases wigs: Bobby Charlton, Jackie Chan, Frankie Howerd, Bruce Forsyth. When I decided to shave my head, my supplier said he thought it was a unspeakable idea. He said it “wasn’t a very Harry Hill point to do”.

Have you thought astir much superior roles? A Bond villain, maybe? jimboy63
I ever thought I’d make a bully serial killer. Playing against type, basically. The only point that has held maine backmost is that I’m not very bully astatine acting. I tin only really play for laughs. I do get offered roles, not truthful overmuch now. I was offered nan portion of [poet and novelist] Philip Larkin – conscionable because I deterioration glasses and I’m bald – which [playwright and director] Alan Ayckbourn really wrote to nan Guardian and complained about. I wrote back, “I’m pinch you connected this, Alan,” but he ne'er replied.

‘I ever thought I’d make a bully serial killer’ … Harry Hill.
‘I ever thought I’d make a bully serial killer’ … Harry Hill. Photograph: Roberto Ricciuti/Getty Images

I was offered nan portion of Benny Hill. I was offered a philharmonic recently, which I thought was really bully and would person been really funny, but I don’t deliberation I could look nan aforesaid point complete and complete again. Plus, if I’m being honest, I don’t for illustration sharing nan spotlight. Bond – possibly I could person played Q, erstwhile Bond utilized to beryllium a spot much camp. Now, pinch nan move towards realism, that’s not specified bully news for Harry Hill, nan actor. I did precocious do nan champion occupation I’ve ever been offered. I play myself successful a caller TV drama. The lead characteristic knocks connected nan door. I reply it. He says: “Oh, no, not you!” Then I unopen nan door. And that’s astir nan scope I’m bully at.

How are you emotion arsenic you attack 60? TurangaLeela2
I retrieve astatine 30 thinking: “Oh, God, what americium I going to do?” At 40, your friends commencement getting divorced. Fifty was ropey because you commencement getting a spot tired and besides your friends commencement dying. The truth is, I’ve been doing it truthful long, that if you took a scan of my brain, you spot a hugely overdeveloped organ pinch humour squeezing retired nan self-awareness. As a comedian, I deliberation you get funnier arsenic you get older, peculiarly pinch my characteristic who has a childlike quality, truthful it’s moreover funnier if you spot maine rolling astir connected nan level aliases lying connected an ironing committee that collapses.

Liam Charles, Harry Hill and Ravneet Gill connected Junior Bake Off.
Liam Charles, Harry Hill and Ravneet Gill connected Junior Bake Off. Photograph: Mark Bourdillon/Love Productions

What anecdote astir yourself would thief group understand who you deliberation you are arsenic a person? NickofBrynbuga
On Junior Bake Off, 1 joke was that I was to get deed by an 8ft inflatable shot covered successful bearer bags. I can’t rather retrieve why. The shaper said: “Why don’t you rotation connected apical of nan shot down nan mediate of nan tent?” I really went for it, but erstwhile I sewage connected apical of nan ball, I looked down and thought: “I’m going to autumn 8ft connected my caput and die.” I turned my body, smashed my enarthrosis and had to spell to A&E. The caregiver said: “How did you do it?” I was wearing a disguise arsenic it was Covid truthful she didn’t recognise me. I said: “I fell connected my shoulder.” She said: “But how?” I said: “I dived complete an 8ft inflatable ball,” and she said: “Are you Harry Hill?” What that demonstrates is that I’m hopeless to please people. If personification says, “Roll down nan mediate of a shelter connected apical of an 8ft ball,” I’ll say, “Of people I will,” without reasoning astir nan consequences.” I’d beautiful overmuch do thing for a laughter if I deliberation it’s a bully capable joke.

Source theguardian